Mirrors used to be a source of joy for me but now in stark contrast I find that adulthood has compounded into me the habit of picking myself apart. I have lately begun to wonder how and why; the answers that immediately jump to mind are the pressures of living up to beauty standards.
While true, it made me wonder why we utilise them so much. Mirrors haven’t always been a part of our daily lives and in that case, are we using them right?
Lets explore those questions!
Reflect someone else
Avoiding mirrors and cameras is something I have instinctively done most of my life but what happened to the girl who used to make faces and admire herself in the mirror? This behaviour wasn’t taught but apparently is a natural process of us recognizing emotions and feedback that we would normally learn from in the faces of our caregivers.
I remember spending time dancing and putting on performances (what a little pop star I was) in front of mirrors but I also recall that humans aren’t the only ones who use mirrors this way. When Dolphins are presented with mirrors they display behaviour never seen before or around other dolphins. Using the mirror as a tool they manipulate themselves in front of the mirror to see parts of themselves that they would never normally see and take time to observe movements in themselves (like cute little fin wiggles!).
What dolphins probably don’t do though is hearing their fellows criticise their looks and accessories (don’t quote me on this I don’t speak dolphin). This is where people and dolphins would differ then because I do remember this from my past. Problems on my face such as spots, hair out of place, lack of makeup were highlighted by people in my life. My relationship with mirrors thereon started to sour.
I saw myself less and less but saw more and more of what needed to be corrected. Would I have been happier without mirrors?
Mirrors are not new to you or me
I thought I would get to know mirrors more. Best to know your enemy right?
So lets compare mirrors first to the natural world. There are animals that preen, make grand displays for mates but as a species we have much more spare time and long-term investment to spend in front of our own reflection: prodding, preening, accessorising.
Turns out the mirrors we know today were only invented in 1835 and even then were not widely available. I know sounds like a long time ago but if humanity was a train, mirrors got on the last carriage and were looking more like polished rocks.
Just imagine it. A world where only the rich could regularly preen and stare into a decent reflection of their own image. Maybe you could have seen yourself in a pool of water or shined metal but the level of detail would not have been great.
Random unasked for fact: copper would be shined in ancient cultures to be used as a mirror but only reflected 20% of light back.
So for the rich mirrors had been around for much longer. In the 1500’s a rich city merchant could afford such a luxury. He could now add more accessories and no exactly what clashed. Oh you stylish merchant!
As you can imagine the focus shifted when mirrors become affordable.
Life for the individual became just that, more individual.
People started to contemplate the “I” and “me" instead of the “we" of religion or community.
This was reflected in art for example. Art was previously focused on religion or mythology but this started to shift. Portraits became fashionable to commission and that’s why extravagant portraits from this era are usually of the rich. The flex of the old days. (I want to see a come back).
It made me wonder if our brains are not adapted for this level of individuality, selfishness and scrutiny. Mirrors can play a major painful factor in many lives, such as the behaviour of mirror gazing in body dysmorphic disorder.
Treating phantoms
As I deep dived into the history of mirrors I also came across some surprising uses of mirrors today (I see you microscopes but this ain’t about you).
I have to admit that I did not expect to come across anything positive when doing this research. It’s like hearing that someone you hate does charitable work.
People who have lost or had limbs removed can experience Phantom Pain. Mirrors can be used as therapy to alleviate this pain. I know, crazy but true!
The mirrors are placed so that an optical illusion is created; showing them that the limb is present. The patient then “moves" the limb that is not present while also moving an existing one. It seems that the brain gets tricked that the missing limb is moving and the pain is alleviated.
Amazing stuff!
Treating your reflection well
However, my research journey did not end there.
That little me that admired and had fun in the mirror? That is a form of therapy.
There is a therapy called “Mirror Meditation” that helps people accept, love and appreciate themselves via their reflection. To see themselves the way others see them, to be compassionate to themselves as if they were looking at someone else. Acknowledging yourself but not from inside your own head. As a human. Trying their best to be happy and live fully.
It sounds absolutely awkward and utterly beautiful. I want to overcome the cynic, the echoes of taught negativity but building myself up gives risk to being knocked down again.
However, if you share my dislike for mirrors and have the strength I would highly recommend looking into Mirror Meditation.
Takeaway
My relationship with mirrors is not a unique one but the pain has sent me down an interesting path of learning. I hope that my journey has shared some interesting insight into the role mirrors have played and play today. I hope that if you do share the pain you can find peace. Let me know some if you find any interesting studies on the relationship between humans and mirrors!
So, in summary:
- Mirrors have not been around for very long, it’s possible our brains have not had time to adapt to them
- Mirrors can be utilised for physical therapy
- Mirrors can be used to undo the negative feelings towards our own appearance that we develop over our lifetimes
