I did it over and over but this time it worked. It can for you.
Why will it work this time? Well, good news, every time might be the last time you have to try! However, if it isn’t, it could be because of your source of motivation, not your will power.
I can take a wild guess here and say your motivations have been along the lines of: health, money, the smell. However, the real motivation you need is much less superficial than that.
Lets take a look at what we do know and I’ll share with you what freed me from smoking.
Smokers know the downsides
Every smoker knows that smoking is bad for you, hands up, I was in this club. You’re not stupid and that makes it worse. You feel like your health and money should be enough. However, the word “bad” never meant much to me and I imagine not to you either.
You would rather live a happier life right? Even if that means a shorter one. Sure it costs money but that’s what money is for right? Happiness?
But like me, you’ve probably picked up a cigarette after varying reasons but all to often to alleviate anxiety…ah. Bingo. There’s the real big bad wolf. Anxiety/stress/overstimulation are much more worse than “bad”.
So that’s where it goes wrong immediately. Some people assume that you only need to shake a little logic into someone and boom, addiction gone.
But smokers are dealing with a much harder battle than a little lack of knowledge. It’s avoidance.
If you think about it you’ll notice that our little rolled up friend doesn’t make those feelings go away. Only holds them off for a few minutes at a time. So….why do we buy these things? It feels like patching a hole with really crap tape.
So give it a try, sit with yourself. Without Mr.WhiteStick listening in. Hear yourself out. Or if that doesn’t help, let someone else hear you out. You might have something important to say.
Smokers don’t need to go it alone
During the start of covid I made a lot of friends online and we played video games together for many hours into the evening. However, being the only smoker in the group I would need to take many more breaks than my smoke free friends.
They of course started to pipe up and ask:
“Why don’t you try to give up?
“Don’t you want to live longer?”
“Argh…hurry up!”
I gave them my automatic, defensive answer:
“No. I want to live a happy one. Even if that may be short.”
But some of my more stubborn and bullshit detecting friends found a way around this excuse.
“Try it. Do it for us. You’ll be around longer to spend time with us.”
So…why not I thought? Lets see how long this one lasts.
This particular friend wanted to know how I did after day 1, so I told him. I made it through…barely, my thoughts raged by the idea of a smoke all day.
I thought nothing of our exchange until I started to get a lot of notifications. My friend had told a mutual online community on Discord that I had made it past day 1. I got so many congratulations, praise, encouragement from friends and people I barely knew. I didn’t know this kind of enthusiasm before. It touched me.
But more importantly the stakes were now higher than myself. People were rooting for me. Really rooting for me to stop smoking. I couldn’t let them down. No way. They believed I could do it. Therefore I could.
Oh, I had my bad days. Really bad ones but this motivation grounded me.
So if you are looking for a reason. Find the right people in your life to be your cheerleaders. Be that friends, family or an online community. Man, will their cheers light that motivation right back up!
You’re not giving up, you’re becoming a fighter
On one of my previous attempts to give up smoking I came across the recommendation to read Allen Carr’s book: Easy Way to Stop Smoking.
Now, I didn’t finish this book but I did take away one important thing.
Smoking does not add anything to your life. Nothing. Oh and yes, I’m still looking at you e-cigarettes, you don’t get away either.
That’s why I truly believe, you are not “giving up” smoking. You’re taking back.
You’re holding onto your precious time. The time that would slip away trying to find a shop, a lighter, somewhere to smoke, something to drink with it, something to read, something to stare at on your phone while you puff away.
You’re knocking out the stress that a sudden chest or head ache would give you (oh my God, is this it? Is this a heart attack/stroke? I’m done for. If I make it through I swear I’ll never smoke again. Yeah, that was me).
You’re fighting for yourself. Your place. Your time. Your friends and family.
(If all else fails imagine yourself boxing the tobacco industry and yanking your money out of their hands).
Smoking steals from you and gives nothing back
There were days when I nearly didn’t pass the small convenience store to buy a pack of cigarettes. The cheers of my friends were too far away to hear and it seemed just too easy.
What stopped me on these occasions was imagining the minutes I had spent at work to buy something that would literally go up in smoke.
I know, I know. This speech. But I want you to try this one out again but from a different perspective.
Have you ever been stressed by work? Or by any other means you did to earn the money you’re handing over?
I imagine there’s a yes somewhere there and yes that you then went for a smoke. The sheer insanity of this cycle gave me enough pause on these days to walk past that store.
Don’t fuel your own demise. Don’t work your own demise.
Take back that money, buy that self help book you need, that therapy session you’ve been meaning to get or that coffee with a loved one to talk it all out.
Your takeaway
If you only take away one thing from this I hope it is this:
You are not a failure for smoking. You just haven’t found your motivation to leave it behind.
If, however, you need some inspiration, let me wrap up how I got there:
- Admitted smoking was an avoidance tool for uncomfortable feelings
- Got cheerleaders (peer pressured not to smoke)
- Unveiled the lies of smoking adding anything to life
- Reinvested my time and money into my self
Let me know where you are on this journey or if you need any help in the comments.
